I can’t breathe right now but my eyes are still open
So, here’s what happened today. I reported an ad to Facebook that I found offensive and Facebook took the ad down. A company that called itself “Black Power” bought an ad on Facebook to sell shirts with a graphic of a white man image standing over a Black man image laying on the ground. The white man’s image had his knee on the neck of the Black man’s. Some people had posted comments about how awful the shirt was and that they wouldn’t buy it. I went a step further and reported it.
I got a response back from Facebook that they reviewed the content of the ad and agreed it was offensive and removed it. I don’t know who is behind this so-called company “Black Power” … I doubt that they are anyone with any pride of Black Power. They are more likely white supremacists or Russian bots ready to promote divisiveness, fakes fronting all the way trying to seize on a tragic situation in Minneapolis. Just like the Republicans who quickly made up the t-shirts on Biden’s gaffe.
A lesson here is we can act, we need to act. We don’t have to just shake our heads, we can see through when someone else is taking advantage of what happened. White supremacists don’t give a crap about us but they loved the idea of making a buck off our pain with those graphic images on a shirt. There wouldn’t be anything Black powerful about wearing that hateful act on a shirt and the ad was offensive so tell Facebook stop allowing shit when you see it.
Republicans and Chump don’t care about us and won’t do anything for us, no matter how wrong Biden’s particular words were. Chump still will be a nightmare and has to be defeated.
I can’t breathe right now but my eyes are still open.
Did you hear about the neighbor?
I was listening to Mara Gay, member of the New York Times Editorial Board talk about the perception that New Yorkers don’t know each. She said she knows her neighbors. “We raise our families. I know the kids down the street. The spirit of NYC is knowing each other, you go to the same corner store, your kids play together. You go to the same bagel shop. You talk to the cops that you meet on the street. That’s part of the fabric of living here. We’re used to being able to send our kids down the street to the store.”
“What makes this pandemic difficult is knowing that our neighbors are suffering and that we can’t actually be together.” Mara Gay wrote an Op-Ed about it. She said they will keep up the fight in NYC because that’s what they do even there, (even seemingly as the President of the United States isn’t supporting them): https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/25/opinion/new-york-coronavirus.html?searchResultPosition=2 .
“For now, we are finding moments of light in unexpected places.
My childhood friends and I have been enjoying happy hour (or ‘quarantini’, if you like) over FaceTime. The last time we’ve seen this much of one another was in high school.
One morning last week, I played flashlight tag with the kids in the building across the street. When we tired of the game, we waved to one another, and I saw four little faces pressed up against the glass from yards away.
We go on long walks under the warming early spring sun, giving our neighbors lots of room as we pass them by. Rainbows dot the windows, offering a little cheer for a city that desperately needs some.
One day soon, we will all shove into the same subway car together, cursing under our breath, but crowding closer to make room for one more.”
In NY, they will fight on and in neighborhoods all over the country. I live in Raleigh. I grew up in St. Pete and still have family there.
I have family in Washington, DC, in Maryland, in Los Angeles, in Chicago, in Louisiana, in Berkley CA. We are used to being together whenever we can at our own discretion. You have family in many other places around the country and world. Even if you hadn’t planned to be physically together right now, you didn’t expect to be mandated not to be together.
The gyms and fitness centers are closed so to get some exercise, walk around your neighborhood. I’ve lived in my neighborhood for 28 years. I actually do know my neighbors, even those that moved in recently. I did the old fashioned thing and took them baked goods when they moved in, Butch brought wine for them. When we first moved into our neighborhood, there were many children in the neighborhood who were in the age ranges of our children. It was great. We had neighborhood gatherings, including 4th of July bike parades when they were little, snow get-togethers on snow days, and lots of playing outside and inside.
I don’t know how much of that still happens in neighborhoods but these stay-at-home days makes me think of connections like that.
I know my neighbors and I care about how they’re doing right now. I talked to the neighbor across the street from me at the mailbox yesterday. I am glad that I already knew him and we could chat about what’s happening. He moved in about 18 months ago. The former occupants of that house was a family that included three daughters who grew up with our daughters and son and they feel like family to us, we went to their daughters’ weddings.
Staying-at-home orders mean you can still go for a walk, you can wave at your neighbor and still keep your six feet of distance. You can ask how they are doing. You can check on them, ring the door bell and step far enough back when the door opens so you get to put eyes on them and ask if they need anything.
I’ve heard about young people doing grocery store shopping for their elderly neighbors so they can have food and don’t have to worry about getting out to shop while this pandemic is happening. Have you thought of offering that for neighbors? Maintaining social distance doesn’t mean we can’t help each other and it doesn’t mean we can’t “connect” with each other.
Don’t wait for someone to ask you, “did you hear about the neighbor?” Now’s a good time to find out yourself. Do you know your neighbor? Can you do something for your neighbor right now while you are spending more time in your neighborhood? This can be done while practicing good social distancing techniques. It probably won’t cost you much money and it just might make you feel good.
Why did gas prices go down so quickly? In other words, once we survive this crisis, how to use what happened to change our world. Answer: demand met reality.
Want to change the world? What’s the best idea you can think of? I don’t think things will go back to how they used to be. Better said, they shouldn’t. Ever. Now is our opportunity to think of what can be a new vision for how we live, how we take care of the vulnerable, what teachers are paid, how every household gets access to the internet, how food & healthcare are basic rights. What happened with gas prices at the pump just might be a perfect example of how you and I can change the world.
Once the federal government gets its act together, mostly because states and the public are demanding it … and because hopefully voters know that we need to put a more competent, truthful leader in the White House in November … we can spend some of time now thinking about how to write our future.
What’s your thinking? You are likely spending less time out of the house socializing so can you spend some time creating a new paradigm for living, taking care of each other. We aren’t going back to where we were. That’s not happening.
Do you think oil companies just on their own decided they wanted to make less profit so they lowered their gas prices? Nope. Gas prices are now less than $2 in many places all around the country because of the demand. It’s simple economics. The demand got lower so the oil companies dramatically lowered their prices to try to attract / increase sales. Nothing had changed with the supply of oil. Previously, they simply wanted to make more profit. But the public health crisis of COVID-19 drove down the demand so dramatically that they determined people were less likely to buy gas, in fact less able to buy gas, if the prices stayed high. Simple. So, the price went down.
Yes, we’re in a public health crisis. The doctors, health professionals are working to get it better. The Governors and Mayors are stepping up to do what the Republican Administration failed to do. The feckless White House has little credibility and we have learned to discount what comes from them every day, in fact hourly.
We have people who don’t have enough food, not enough water, not enough access to health care. And we all need to be cautious and prudent in governing our personal behavior and actions accordingly. There are plenty of resources to tell you what to do so I encourage you to seek those out. What else can we do while we’re practicing social distancing, working from home, washing our hands, checking in with family & friends?
What else can we can do in the interim?
We should look at the future we want to build. As the government looks at spending trillions of dollars, let’s look at building a better future for the people who are being hardest hit right now. We can’t have utilities shut off for them. We can’t have small businesses without funding to start back up. Why are we even considering bailouts for big businesses who did stock buybacks yet proposing loans to small businesses that would have to pay that money back? Some politicians would say it’s too expensive to help small businesses but they’re ready to give bailouts and tax cuts to big business.
On health care, the insurance companies weren’t suffering financially but the hospitals and clinics weren’t prepared for a national health crisis. Let’s invest in public health care. Let’s figure out what the new normal should look like.
Gina McCarthy, former EPA Administrator says yes we should focus on the immediate acute health needs and we should deal with this but she along with others say this points out the need for affordable health care on systemic basis. We need to highlight what we had in the makings of Obamacare before Republicans worked to dismantle it. Now more than ever, we can see why affordable health care for everyone is critical, in America it should be a baseline right for everyone not just the rich.
Focus on making the world better, cleaner, more healthy, better for getting around. McCarthy says we have an opportunity to look at the future we want to build not just how we want to handle this crisis. Let’s talk about transit investment while the transit systems are being reduced because people are being told to stay at home. When the transit systems are ready to start back up at full capacity, what/who needs should they serve?
The things that are needed to address climate change are cost effective so don’t accept the argument that we can’t do it. Instead of negotiating with the oil industry, because there is no oil shortage, they simply weren’t making as much money as they wanted, we should use this time to create the best green energy plans. Get rid of our dependence on fossil fuels anyway but while we’re still dependent on them, where’s the incentive for them to keep prices low. It shouldn’t be in tax breaks for their large companies or sweet talk for Saudi Arabia by the Trump family.
How about talking about safe drinking water investments? What happened in Flint, Michigan and Newark, New Jersey shouldn’t happen again. We are all vulnerable. If the pandemic is people to people contact, what happens next when something gets in our water supply and it’s further widespread than one or two cities?
Food assistance – many people were without food before you weren’t able to go out to your favorite restaurant. What can we do better to have food assistance infrastructure systems in every community. Chef Jose Andres is a saint for setting up his community kitchens. The many soup kitchens that are staffed in our communities for the homeless and working poor are amazing but they aren’t enough. How do we ensure that no American ever goes to bed hungry? How do we keep a parent from having to choose between medicine and putting a meal on the table?
Primary, secondary and college schooling – if you thought online learning was important to get through school systems being shut down to flatten the curve for a pandemic, then every home should have computers and access to online. This should be for those in urban and rural communities. Online access should be just as fast for a student in Mississippi as it is for a student in Connecticut.
There is so much we can do during this time of “stay at home,” “quarantine” “shelter in place” and not gathering with more than 5 or 10 people. I am going to do some spring cleaning this week. I look forward to clearing out my laundry room, den, family room, bedrooms, closets, desk, shelves and places around my house. I am now also looking forward to using the cleared spaces of my mind during this time to think freshly about what we need after this pandemic. I plan to survive it. I want you to survive it too. After we survive it, then let’s have a blueprint to thrive.
One last area to talk about is what we have seen from our political leaders during this crisis. This experience is showing us we should clean there too.
Political leadership – from now on, look at how you decide on who should be elected based on how they are able to handle a pandemic. Someone who is proven to lie regularly, who is a misogynist, who is on tape talking about grabbing a woman by her genitals, someone who lies about the media simply for telling the truth about his actions, someone who goes after his political opponents by using making up stories about them or intimidating others to investigate lies about them, someone who has filed multiple bankruptcies, someone who has been sued for having a fake university, someone who brags about violence at a political rally, someone who has no respect for the Intelligence Community & who openly admires political adversaries like Russia’s Putin — is this someone who you think would be capable of leading the country in a major public crisis like this? It’s a false narrative to say, the “lesser of two evils” like some did in 2016.
There is nothing about this current President of the US that says he would have been the President we needed for this time in 2020. Nothing. This COVID-19 crisis should forever be a reminder of how we choose who to vote for in a Governor and a US President. We now know that literally our lives depend on it.
Gas prices are low because demand literally met reality. Now, we have an opportunity to co-create a new reality for what our country should look like for all citizens. COVID-19 hasn’t cared about skin color, gender, political party, job role, age or anything. If we demand a country that take care of everyone better and choose our leaders based on their capability and willingness to doing this, to put forth a vision for this, we will be better prepared next time. Reality will be what we demand.
If you wear a sweater, you’ll warm up … Breathe
Things are a bit unsettled right now. As I was riding in the car though, listening to the many health experts and commentators talk about the COVID-19 pandemic, one of them made a very simple statement: “If you wear a sweater, you’ll warm up.” I think the point of this was to use common sense, take appropriate steps to safeguard yourself and others, and then breathe. Breathe deep and often. Without panic.
The federal government has failed us and didn’t take steps for containment that would have potentially stemmed this sooner rather than later.
So, we are where we are. But given that this is where we are, if you consider the analogy of “if you wear a sweater, you will warm up” then we can manage this situation with some calm.
Be smart about your movements and take the precautions that all the experts say, not what comes from the White House because honestly they aren’t credible. So breathe. Times may become such that we don’t get out and about as much as we used to with each other in the near term. But still connect, call each other and utilize face time technologies to see each other. Breathe.
Our world will be changed for a very long time but we must find a way to live with some precautions.
Especially for those who have underlying health vulnerabilities. With health challenges, do take advice from your doctors, do listen closely to the health professionals. Even with the hits that the CDC is taking because the Commander in Chief handicapped the response, the CDC has world-class experts on public health. We need to let them do their job without White House interference. And the public health officials with the expertise should be the ones leading the press conferences.
For the rest of us, create a new normal. Breathe. I went out today, yes my husband and I did that. We went to the home of friends for a game of bid whist. Neither of us has underlying health vulnerabilities. We will make judgments about our personal movements as things move along. Panic won’t help. We will stay informed. We will breathe. We will stay connected with our family. We communicated with each of our grown daughters and son this week, wanted to check in on them. We will continue to do so. I know you will do the same. No one should be isolated right now even if we are staying in our homes more often than we used to.
Breathe. Breathe deeply.
Maybe you’re not going to the gym/fitness center but walking outside is free and that can be done with social distancing. And, it will allow you to breathe deeply. Spring has sprung where I am, so I can get out for a walk. That can be a brisk walk or a jog or a run. You can too.
We need each other right now. Mostly, we need to stay calm. If you wear a sweater, you will warm up. So the chills of this experience can be overcome if we lean into what the experts are telling us, check on each other, and take care of ourselves and our loved ones.
Breathe.
Seeds on good soil now dancing with the angels … giving us the wings to fly
In 2019, we had several heroes leave their earthly bodies who met the words President Barack Obama utilized to describe Congressman Elijah Cummings: “The seed on good soil, the parable of the sower tells us, stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. The seed on good soil. Elijah Cummings came from good soil. And in this sturdy frame, goodness took root.”
The three pictured here and highlighted for my yearend blog happen to be alumni of Howard University: Toni Morrison, Elijah Cummings and Jessye Norman. Their contributions took root in their respective areas and spread across the country and the world. Many in the world are better because they lived. It’s hard to believe they are gone. But with each, their legacy lives on beyond their earthly lives.
From President Obama’s eulogy on Congressman Cummings:
“… a public servant who toiled to guarantee the least of us have the same opportunities that he had earned. A leader who once said he would die for his people, even as he lived every minute for them—his life validates the things we tell ourselves about what’s possible in this country. Not guaranteed, but possible. The possibility that our destinies are not preordained. But rather, through our works, and our dedication, and our willingness to open our hearts to God’s message of love for all people, we can live a purposeful life. That we can reap a bountiful harvest. That we are neither sentenced to wither among the rocks nor assured a bounty, but we have a capacity, the chance, as individuals and as a nation, to root ourselves in good soil.
Elijah understood that. That’s why he fought for justice.”
A link to the full eulogy: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/10/barack-obamas-eulogy-elijah-cummings/600697/?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share
Those words echoed what others said of Cummings. The Congressman was forceful in his fight for his Baltimore community but also for every citizen in the country, no matter how rich or poor. A person’s standing in life didn’t determine how much Cummings did for you, except maybe he worked a little harder for those with less advantages because he saw himself as their Representative.
His loss leaves a major hole for us in Congress. He was outspoken in his passion for justice and truth and unyielding in his desire to help make it happen. As a graduate of Howard, the University’s President said that he didn’t go solo in pushing for justice and freedom: “His clarion call wasn’t a solo piece. Instead, it was a lead baritone in the song of freedom—a song he amplified in the soothing of America’s deepest wounds. … the melody he first composed nearly three decades ago continues to rain down on and nourish us with immense love. A giant departed this Earth, but his proteges will finish his song while he pauses to dance with the angels.”
I looked up to Elijah Cummings because I believed he understood what it meant to speak truth to power, to find the balance between holding power and not letting power hold you. He had walked the campus that I walked as an undergraduate and was shaped by the politics of being a student activist as I had been. While I didn’t choose a career in politics, I never abandoned the interest in pushing for justice. I’ve just found different paths for doing so. Each of us can. None of us need be a solo piece.
“My life is based on pain, passion, and purpose.” — Elijah Cummings
Indeed, whether or not we have pain I don’t know, but I do know we can have passion and purpose like Congressman Cummings.
Toni Morrison. Our Forever First Lady Michelle Obama said of Toni Morrison, “For me and for so many others, Toni Morrison was that first crack in the levee — the one who freed the truth about black lives, sending it rushing out into the world. She showed us the beauty in being our full selves, the necessity of embracing our complications and contradictions. She didn’t just give us the permission to share our own stories; she underlined our responsibility to do so. She showed how incomplete the world’s narrative was without ours in it.” Yeah, that’s it. This is Toni Morrison. A seed on good soil and the soil is richly producing for future generations.
I say this is, not was, Toni Morrison because she left us with her words and they remain forever. Toni Morrison left us with her books. Toni Morrison left us with her stories. Toni Morrison left us with us. She did just what Michelle Obama said. “She showed us the beauty in being our full selves … and how incomplete the world’s narrative was without ours in it.”
This Washington Post article in August 2019 of published essays from eight amazing women sharing their thoughts on Toni Morrison captured how she impacted our lives, I hope you read it and absorb the feelings of how Toni Morrison broke open our lives: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/08/09/eight-black-women-including-michelle-obama-toni-morrisons-life-legacy/?arc404=true
Toni Morrison was more than a writer or an author. She was an artist. Writing is indeed a literary art. Writers, good writers, speak to our soul just as a painting does. A painting can conjure up inner thoughts that were dormant or inspire you to feel joy. Writings can do that too.
Even though Toni Morrison’s death was in August 2019, a professor of English and African American studies at Georgetown University took several months to process her death. And just on December 29th, 2019, she published a beautiful article on how “Hers was a life of the arts and the mind.”
“Quite simply, the landscape of American arts and letters would be unimaginably impoverished without Toni Morrison, who, for almost a half-century, excelled across a stunning spectrum—writer, editor, curator, professor, and cultural and literary critic. “
“With cultural specificity, she recalibrated American arts, expanding communities in her wake because she knew that community is the greatest organizing principle of humanity.”
“Morrison’s “word-work,” as she called it, reminds her readers not only to think, but also to feel; for her, these two gifts are the essence of our humanity. She reminded us of this, of “the way in which we are like no other life,” in her 1993 Nobel lecture: “We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives.”
Angelyn Mitchell
A link to the full article: https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2019/12/29/toni-morrison-the-writer-who-recalibrated-the-american-story-088263
An artist never leaves us, their art continues to speaks to us. It is up to us to decide what it says to us and respond for our own lives.
Jessye Norman. Such a talent. Such a voice. And maybe not as well known, but such a philanthropist too. Yes, her opera voice brought her well deserved acclaim but her heart and joy for giving to others demonstrates that she was a seed on good soil.
Her voice was operatic. Her voice was gospel. Her voice was classical music as well. The New York Times described her voice as a “grand mansion of sound”. The paper’s Edward Rothstein wrote:
“It defines an extraordinary space. It has enormous dimensions, reaching backward and upward. It opens on to unexpected vistas. It contains sunlit rooms, narrow passageways, cavernous falls.”
At the time that she received the Kennedy Center Honors in 1997, she was the youngest to do so, age 52. President Barack Obama awarded her the National Medal of Arts. She even has an orchid named after her in France. On the philanthropy side, she raised funds to help students attend school and championed efforts to alleviate homelessness and hunger, while also promoting diversity, culture education, and youth development.
Ms. Norman established the Jessye Norman School of the Arts in Augusta, Georgia.
“I look at symphony orchestras around this country and I want those orchestras to look more like the demographic they’re meant to serve. I would like to see more African Americans on the stage at the Metropolitan Opera here in New York. There are certainly some, but not nearly enough, and I come across so many singers who are terribly gifted and that would be an asset to these opera companies around our country. But we still have these people who are just a little bit hesitant, and perhaps not as open-hearted … as I’d like them to be,” she said. “I look forward to the day when we do not think about color of skin when we’re looking to have a person do a job, whatever that job is.” — Jessye Norman
With 15 Grammy nominations and a Grammy lifetime achievement award in 2006, this daughter of Howard University will be remembered as a woman with a giant voice that rose to the heights of the heavens who left a legacy of rich soil for us to walk upon.
There were of course many other treasured people who left us in 2019. I simply chose these three to symbolize the richness of the good seeds cast in the soil upon which we now can walk into 2020. There was something about how their examples stood out to me that I could reflect on. I love to look back at the end of the year and find some good. That good gives me hope for moving into the new year. Most especially, with them I can stand on solid ground. I feel like I can flourish in 2020. Not only me. I feel like we, us, all of the people I cherish can and will flourish in 2020. I really do. I am very encouraged and hopeful. We must put in the work though, as did Elijah and Toni and Jessye. Nothing was given to them. They were good seeds cast on good soil but they chose to then water, nurture, grow, help others grow … flourish. And in this sturdy frame of hope, goodness took root. Choose to be blessed in 2020.
Supple at 60…
I’ve been 60 for one whole week. Two days after my birthday, one of my close college friends who has already turned 60, used the word “supple” to describe life at 60. I stepped back when she said it. I was like, “wow” what a word to use. Supple. Hmm. Then, I thought, “okay, yeah!” The definitions for supple include:
Supple: bending readily without breaking, flexible, smooth and agreeable to the touch; not rough or coarse, characterized by ease, responsiveness, and adaptability in mental action; readily adaptable or responsive to new situations; capable of being bent or folded without creases, cracks or breaks; easy and fluent without stiffness or awkwardness.
But then, it got even better. Lonna Hooks stated a combination of three special words to sum up an outlook on women in the 60s: Soft, Supple and Sage. Oh my goodness, blow my mind open and insert pure joy. I have been absorbing these three words for this first week of being 60 and every time I think about them, I smile. They say so much.
Definitions for soft include:
soft: yielding readily to touch; relatively deficient in hardness like metal or wood; pleasing or agreeable to the senses; bringing ease, comfort or quiet; having mellow rather than bitter or acid taste; smooth or delicate in texture, grain or fiber; rising gradually; having curved or rounded outline; marked by a gentleness, kindness or tenderness; occurring at such a speed and under such circumstances as to avoid destructive impact.
Now, after reading the definitions for supple and soft, do those definitions conjure up women you know who are in their 60s today? Or, women even in their early 70s? I can think of many. Those words describe the lives that I am seeing many of my friends live right now. They don’t feel “old” and they aren’t acting old. They are flexible, adaptable, responsive to new situations all of the time, not stodgy, ready to embrace new adventures and not only are they mentally sharp, they actually have few creases and cracks too because these women take care of their bodies.
So many of the women I know in their 60s today show kindness, they live with ease and comfort, they are pleasing and easy to get along with, they are smooth in their approach to life, calm in the way they treat each other, mellow about life’s trials & tribulations and actually still rising gradually in their achievements, yet plodding along at a pace whereby they land softly enough to not cause destruction to others.
Just this week, on the TODAY Show, Maria Shriver interviewed four women in their 60s or just about to be 60: Tina Knowles Lawson (yep, Beyoncé’s mother), Rita Wilson, Lisa Kudrow and Megan Mullally. Here’s a link to the interview, it was great to see: https://www.today.com/video/lisa-kudrow-rita-wilson-and-more-hollywood-women-discuss-aging-with-maria-shriver-69765189605
Listening to them, they feel vibrant yet they talked about how their industry has tried to dismiss them because of their age. They talked about what has surprised them about aging. One thing they said is they wish people would stop saying “women should do things that are ‘age appropriate’ because there shouldn’t be a category/a box for that. As I listened to them, I had a thought. Maria Shriver asked them what would they say to their younger selves. That’s a question I often hear women asked a lot too. I don’t want to be asked that. Instead, I am focusing on what I want to say to myself now. Tina Knowles Lawson said she’s really focusing on being unapologetic about who she is now and what she wants to do now. Yes to that!
That brings me to the third word that Lonna told me for how she now sees this wonderful decade of 60: sage. What have we benefited from to get to this point? The foundation that we stand on came with experiences, good and maybe some not-so-good, but we gained from all of those experiences.
Definitions of sage:
Sage: a profoundly wise person; wise, judicious, prudent; someone venerated for the possession of wisdom, judgment and experience; a wise through reflection and experience; one distuinguished for judgment; discerning, insightful; great understanding of people and of situations; mental soundness, rationality and levelheadedness.
Yes, that tops it. Sage is the cherry on top and wraps it all up for me. Women who are doing well and truly living their best lives in their 60s indeed have taken their experiences, what they’ve lived through, what they’ve learned and packed it all into a package called discernment & wisdom. They possess judgment and insight that reflects from whence they’ve come. I am not saying that we are all-knowing or without fault, but often we have taken the dents and nicks from our experiences and developed understanding of situations and people. We’ve put what we have gone through to good use.
So, a few months ago I was approaching 60 with some trepidation. I had loved being in my 50s, truly enjoyed those years. I didn’t feel “old” and I saw women friends and family members who were already in their 60s and they didn’t seem old either. So, I decided to celebrate my upcoming birthday just for the fun of it but I felt cautious. And, I reached out to women and asked them to share their thoughts on being in their 60s … I am in the process of compiling their input and you will see that soon in future blogs or other formats.
My family indulged me with a fabulous 60th birthday celebration weekend that I am still feeling the glow of. That weekend will stay with me for a long while and my gratitude for it will last forever.
And, thanks to my dear friend Lonna, I have a super way of thinking about the decade of my 60s: Soft, Supple and Sage. I smile just writing that again. It sounds good, it feels good and it will be great.
Soft, Supple, Sage … 60!
Wanting memories to see the beauty above the storms of life
The beauty of the world and memories came alive last week as I was sitting at the spring concert for the daughter of two Howard U classmates. Her choir sang a song title “Wanting Memories” by Ysaye Maria Barnwell that had been popularized by the group Sweet Honey in The Rock. The words of the song felt so appropriate to me for this time of year when we celebrate both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as well as graduations. Our parents teach us so much and imprint themselves in our lives. They live in us way beyond their earthly presence. Hopefully we’ve been lucky enough to have them teach us to see the beauty in the world not only through their eyes but through our own eyes as well by instilling confidence for us to be who we are. And, graduations conjure up memories of years of developing, growing and moving on. The lyrics of the song:
“I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes. You used to rock me in the cradle of your arms, you said you’d hold me til the pains of life were gone. You said you’d comfort me in times like these and now I need you and you are gone.
I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes. Since you’ve gone and left me, there’s been so little beauty but I know I saw it clearly through your eyes. Now the world outside is such a cold and bitter place, here inside I have few things that will console and when I try to hear your voice above the storms of life, then I remember that I was told.
I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes. I think on the things that made me feel so wonderful when I was young. I think on the things that made me laugh, made me dance, made me sing. I think on the things that made grow into a full being of pride. I think on these things for they are true.
I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes. I thought that you were gone but now I know you’re with me. You are the voice that whispers all I need to hear. I know a please, a thank you and a smile will take me far. I know that I am you and you are me and we are one. I know that who I am is numbered in each grain of sand. I know that I’ve been blessed again and again and again.
I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes.”
Here’s a link to a rendition by Sweet Honey in the Rock: https://youtu.be/vW2TpW4gCt8 and a link to the rendition by a high school choir in North Carolina (the depth of the many voices of a choir adds immense richness to their audio rendition): https://youtu.be/hY_jMYCGbL4
Be who you are and know the sweetness of that will allow you to see the beauty of the world and contribute something back, leave some part of you in those you interact with, your children, your nieces & nephews, youth in your community, elderly needing your touch … there’s always someone you can serve.
Most importantly, I choose to believe there was someone in your life, a parent or grandparent or aunt or uncle or teacher who you have memories of that left a part of themselves in you. They are that voice that tells you that decision you’re pondering isn’t a good one or that next step is a good action to take.
Someone rocked you and held you close and those moments are ingrained in your flesh, your memories, your heart. Life is sweet beauty in those memories.
At the end of April, I attended a very impactful program planned by medical, dental, nursing & allied health students and staff at Howard University. It was the second program that I am aware they conducted for the families of people who donated their bodies for research and science to Howard University Medical School. The program included spoken word, dance, singing, tributes and remarks on how much the gifts of these donors had meant to them. Family members could really feel how this selfless act by our loved ones had started these future health professionals on their careers. I felt memories of my mother and loved how she had seen the beauty of the world, had shared that with us while living and even had done so in this way upon her death. One of the medical students shared the below poem at the program. It was written by a med student at another university as a thank you to the people who had donated their bodies for research & science.
Knowing You
I do not know all the paths you chose to walk down in life, but I have felt the fibers of all the muscles that carried you there.
I do not know what made your heart burst with love, but I have pictured how the blood flowed through the four chambers of your heart.
I do not know what life dreams you had, but I have traced your nerves to see how it was possible for your brain to realize them.
I do not know what moments in your life made you sigh with relief or in despair, but I have touched the lungs that held your breath.
I do not know the many hands you lovingly held in yours, but I have felt the strength of each of your fingers.
I do not know all the burdens you carried on your shoulders, but I have cut through the tension you carried there.
I do not know the beauty and brokenness you witnessed in your lifetime, but I have seen how you were able to see the world.
I do not know what nourished and nurtured you, but I have met all the organs that worked hard to sustain you.
I do not know the children you gave life to, but I have been awed by the inner workings of your womb.
I do not know how many times your heart was broken, but I have uncovered the sac that housed your tears.
I do not know the lovers who knew you so well, but I have come to know all the layers and spaces of your body.
I do not know your name, but before you left you gave me permission to uncover the miracle of the human body through you.
You gave me the gift of knowing you.
Thank you.
(The poem “Knowing You,” by first-year student JooRi Jun at Bastyr University)
This time of year as we celebrate graduations, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, our minds may be flooded with memories. My hope is that most of your memories are of the good times with people who you have walked with on these paths of life. There are storms sometimes, there are days filled with joy too. There are memories that bring us tears. There are memories that let us smile. There are memories that lift us and energize us. There are memories that tell us, yes we can do it. There are memories that bring gratitude for knowing the world was more beautiful because of that person or experience.
I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes.
Her-story …it’s every day
March has been the celebration of Women’s History, yes her-story. On the last day of the her-story month, I went to the North Carolina Museum of Art and enjoyed a tour of women in art. One of the art pieces was done by Amy Sherald, the artist who painted First Lady Michelle Obama’s official portrait. I am so proud of Michelle Obama. It was recently reported that her memoir has just surpassed sold 10 million copies, about to break a record for memoir books ever sold. That’s her-story big time.
Every day new her-story is made so commemorating it won’t all fit in just the month of March. But, walking through the Museum of Art and listening to how many women artists struggled through the centuries, I thought of how difficult life has been for women. This is the case in art and other professions as well. Many women artists weren’t allowed in art studios, as a model or an artist. They felt caged and inhibited. And yes, this applies to how women have felt across the spectrum of life.
There are many women to celebrate every day. Ordinary women like the mothers who get up and go to work, some at more than one job, get kids to school and come home to cook dinner and keep a household together. There are extraordinary women who do the ordinary things plus go beyond like run for political office or hold judicial positions or do science research or teach our children in the classrooms.
I could name many women to have paid tribute to for Women’s History Month but I mostly want to say that women who manage to put their best face on each morning and get through the day are to be celebrated. Women have days that are less than extraordinary but they survive them. Women have days that are spectacular but they feel lost and alone. Women are powerful and beautiful yet often are viewed through someone else’s lenses of what they should be. Actually, they just want to be seen for who they want to be.
So, for all women, know that we her-story is made every day. I celebrate all women. Every month is our month. Here’s to the ordinary women, the extraordinary women and the women who stand up and stand out in every profession. We stand on the shoulders of women like Harriet Tubman, Cleopatra, Mary Magdalene, Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, Sojourner Truth, Pocahontas, Coretta Scott King and more. We do much with little and don’t take no for an answer, always looking for a way when there seems to be no way. That’s the way of a woman. Every day is our day.
Power … that’s our history
Black people are power. That is our history. That is who we are, in every way. And, at every stage of history, we have been powerful. Even at moments when it may have appeared that we were powerless, we had power. If we did not have power, then those trying to suppress us would not have been working so hard to do so.
I contemplated this thought throughout the month of February. I saw many wonderful postings of extraordinary people during Black History Month. I learned new things about people and was reminded of the accomplishments and achievements of pioneers in every field of study. I felt joy and triumph at the culmination of the Academy Awards as Oscars were given out to blacks in categories for the first time ever. And, I know that those will be the last time for the first time. Yes, we will not be stopped again because we are power-filled.
So far this Presidential campaign season, there are already announced two black candidates seeking the Presidency of these United States of America. I do not know if either will be successful in 2020 but I do now know that President Barack Obama’s Presidency will not be the only time we have a black in the White House. It is simply a question of when, not if. Why? Because we have power. Because we are powerful. If it were not so, others would not be so focused on suppressing us.
Our history is wrought with pain and suffering, yet it is also overwhelmed with kings and queens and kingdoms and creations of science and math and pyramids. Our history did not begin on a slave ship and it does not end on Jim Crow laws of segregation. We have never been satisfied with the crumbs from the kitchen even when we had to eat them to survive. While we may have devoured the pig’s feet and picked the cotton to sustain our livelihood, our inner being has been and always will be to look beyond our current circumstances and prepare for the moment of flight.
When education was denied us, we learned to read by candlelight after our day’s work was done because we knew the value it would bring to us. When the doors of the schools were not opened for us, eventually working with like-minded people we established schools of all levels of learning that could teach us. Historically black colleges and universities are not obsolete today because their mission remains strong and they do a wonderful job in the comprehensive task of preparing a person for a career. One of my daughters said to me that college is about more than getting a degree, it’s about getting comfortable in your own skin.
While many doors may seemingly be open, it’s also where can we walk and feel ourselves, not wear a mask for day and another for night while receiving the best of the best. Choose that which gives you your own power.
I am strongly encouraged even during discouraging times that our history is power. Black power is us. When I went to see the movie Black Panther in 2018, I loved the segment on the actual Black Panther civil rights movement. It was educational for me and showed the power that we’ve had. The Black Panthers were focused on more than political issues. They had health clinics, food programs, and schools and did motivational speaking to youth to keep them focused on getting education. They encouraged black men to be good fathers. They wanted black people to be proud to be black. When I saw the BlackKKlansman movie, the same points came across about the Black Panther movement. They were a political movement but if that is all we know them for, we miss the totality of the good they were doing. Their history was power.
When I think of black history, I think of all the types of music that has been a part of us. Oh yes, there’s spirituals, gospel, blues, jazz, rhythm & blues. And hip-hop too. Hip-hop is not just music, it’s a culture. Hip-hop is power. It influences thinking. It influences how people dress. It influences what people buy. It influences how people even take care of their bodies. Hip-hop is a billion dollar industry with an impact on many people. If we dismiss it as just music, particularly if we choose to not understand any of it, we miss how it is power. Hip-hop is Black History too so we need to claim it as our power.
Black history is every day and all of us. We aren’t reduced to one month but I do like have a month with extra emphasis and extra celebration. This time I celebrated the power of it all and realized that our history is our power. I marveled at how much we have come through and how much more we can do. I raised a glass in awe of the many people whose shoulders I stand on. I thought about who to highlight and kept thinking that I wasn’t sure who I wanted to leave out if I selected just a few. I am so proud of so many. I am grateful to have lived through a time that experienced so many firsts, yet I am anxious to see the seconds and thirds and then lose track because it’s common and we don’t have to count any more.
But, our power must be fought every day too. We have to remain vigilant. We have to stay woke. We can lose it in the blink of an eye if we become complacent or complicit … lest we forget. Now is not the time to think the pains and struggles are over. Indeed, they may never be.
Power, that’s our history. Power, that’s what we must reclaim every day. Stay woke.
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